Thoughts about doing what one is afraid of, about a weakness being turned into strength, and about the glossy pictures we post of ourselves on social media.
One of the great things about traveling is that you have to move outside of your comfort zone. It provides both new perspectives and learning, which is increasingly important the older you get. Those who know me know that I am not a healthy athlete at all, even though I am in good physical shape. One of the things I’m afraid of is heights. More than once I have got afraid and sat down on a mountain hike, refusing to move either up or down. Full of panic, I feel that now I will roll downhill and kill myself, even though the tour group says that this is not the least bit dangerous. Then there is only a little chocolate, patience and a safe hand to hold that helps. Afterwards, I am both embarrassed and ashamed that I lost control completely. In social media, you will not find any pictures of me waving on the highest mountain peaks, as so many ladies 40+ do.
To put it mildly, skeptical
When Otto invited me on a 12 km jungle and cave tour in Vietnam, I was skeptical to say the least. We did some research on the trip that Jungle Boss offered, and sent an email saying it just like it was about my fear of heights. They quickly replied that the trip was rough and in very rough terrain, but that it should be affordable if you are in reasonably decent shape. There were also no special parties that would indicate fear of heights. Also, they had a ‘security guy’ who could lend a helping hand if I got scared. I really wanted to go on an adventure trip in the jungle, and decided after a lot of doubt to throw myself into it. I don’t like letting anxiety control my choices, and thought that in the worst case I could just turn around.
Mountain goats and pulse in high gear
We were fifteen tourists in the group, most a few decades younger than Otto and me. We were given green mountain boots made of cloth, which are produced for the Vietnamese army. They looked very basic compared to the ones I have at home, but should turn out to give a good grip on extremely muddy and slippery surfaces, and neither chafing nor sore legs was a problem. The trip started from the Ho Chi Min trail, and the first hour we climbed quite straight up at a high pace. Really some mountain goats, I thought with my pulse pounding in high gear. At the first break at the top, there were probably more than me who wondered what they had embarked on, something the picture below illustrates well
A Vietnamese gentleman
On the day of the trip it was cloudy and about 20 degrees with high humidity, and I had not thought that this would give completely misted glasses. I’m totally addicted to mine, and eventually saw everything around me in a murky fog. There was no point in cleaning them either. When the surface is stone, branches / vines, wet clay to the middle of the leg in very rough terrain and wading in rivers, it was not easy to stay on your feet. But then I suddenly realized that as I did not see so well, I did not have time to consider whether I needed to be afraid. Also, the ‘safety guy’ was incredibly attentive and quick on the spot with a helping hand where he saw me hesitating. It is unusual, but nice to realize that one is helpless and surrender to a Vietnamese gentleman. He did not speak a word of English, but was a master of reading body language. When the trip was over, he shyly accepted warm hugs and tips. I dropped the cave visit, as it meant a lot of steep and rocky climbing in the dark, where I see extra badly. Otto confirmed that it was the right choice because it was rough climbing. Instead, I enjoyed all the adventurous animal sounds and smells the jungle has to offer, imagined I was in an Indiana Jones movie, took some pictures, and relaxed for the next session. The jungle trip left all my body muscles as numb as I have never experienced before. All the way to the fingers. I’m certainly not sure if I’ll go jungle trekking again, but you should never say never.
Fewer glossy photos, better for everyone
You may be wondering why I write about fear of heights and that I’m a little embarrassed not to master? The easiest thing would be to post some exciting pictures, get many likes, and let everyone think I am really tough and fit. I do it because it’s not so bad to be a little more honest that no one is perfect. A few years ago, it felt scary to go out in the media to tell about how I felt ashamed as a mother when my daughter was bullied. But I have only received positive feedback from others who recognize themselves. Those who are negative hardly say anything to me, and are in any case not friend material. Of course, everyone must find out for themselves where the limit goes for what they want to share, but it does not hurt if we are a little less perfect in social media. Open and honest communication is important to me, and in my lectures I talk a lot about how we stage ourselves as exclusively happy on social media. I’m neither worse nor better than others, but I’m trying to be a little aware of that. Probably with varying degrees of success. Our digital glossy photos have a disturbing flip side, because many people feel unhappy when they see how perfect and happy everyone else is. This applies not least to young people who are in a phase where everything is emotional chaos. We need to talk more with them about it, and that life offers a fair amount of ups and downs for all of us. And that they are good enough just the way they are. It is highly human to have weaknesses, and I think the world will be a slightly better place if it is better reflected in the footprint of our social media.
More about Vietnam and Cambodia:
Vietnam backpacking – Hoi An
Halong Bay – Vietnam
Cambodia – Angkor Temples
Phong Nha National Park Vietnam
Hanoi Obstipation, or the dream of porridge.
